Saturday, October 23, 2010

This crazy thing called life

Alright, so I'm really trying to break the habit of posting about Chris, but he's still a huge part of what I've been thinking about recently (and it's only been two weeks, so you'll have to forgive me for not getting over it yet). One of my friends asked me the other day how I'm doing and commented that I've probably got a lot of other things going on now (with work and school) to distract me. Which is totally true. During the day I don't know down from up. But at night my subconscious catches up with me and I'll wake up randomly in the middle of a dream sequence and he's the first thing I think of (even if I wasn't dreaming about him). I've also started back to work on the story I was writing before all of this happened that was based off our friendship... and I'm sure that will dig up old emotions as I try to remember specific things about him. It's strange, but now that he's gone I feel more comfortable clearly crafting my main character after him.

But I'm starting to be able to talk about him more freely (without crying, I mean) and even my mom made the comment last night that I seem to be in a much better mood. I'll probably always wonder if there was something I could have said or done during our last conversation to help him out, but I've come to understand that there's nothing that can be done now. What happened, happened and I can't change it. I still haven't written that letter and burned it yet... but when I do, I'll make a post on here and maybe it'll be the last for a while with Chris as the main subject (Don't hold me to that).

At least I finally feel like I'm on top of things for school. I'm pretty sure I have at least a B average for my cumulative gpa so I'm extremely happy about that. Work can still suck some days... but attitude is everything. Just grin and bear it, right?

Well, I've got to go get ready for a play at GMU (I've got to see Pericles.... so NOT my choosing, it's mandatory for class) so until next time.... =)

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