Flashback.

Not a lot to update about... I'm about to start finals at school. I've actually only got 1 test to take this week, the other two classes just require papers. For the sports doc class I have to write a 7-8 page paper comparing three films and I'm at the bottom of page 6 and only halfway through the second film... so needless to say I'm going to email the teacher and see if I can't drop the third film. Other people were only doing two films so I don't think it should be a problem, but we'll see.

Friday night Thor (the night receptionist, not the thunder god) came up behind me doing that little snap/clap combination that I can never seem to get down and then kind of stood right behind me looking over my shoulder. He reminded me so much of Chris in that moment that I had to push away from my desk and ask him to not do that again. So I'm sure Thor now thinks I'm completely nuts (but lets face it, it's not that far off base).

I rediscovered another online blog that I had from 2003-2007. And get this, I managed to post almost every day. Shocker! So I've spent most of my free time this weekend reading back through all of the entries. Needless to say, it's been a bit surreal. It's like reading through a really bad history book. I never realized how depressed I was in 2005. Or how obsessed I was with my high school boyfriend, despite living 300 miles from him. Also, only a few posts about James and I, but I read them and wanted to reach through the computer screen and shake my former self. How I ever let that relationship last for over a month is beyond me. Also interesting is how often my mom and I fought and how much I hated my dad.

Obviously when you look back on something, you're going to remember it differently than how it actually happened. Time seems to warp events in peoples' heads, and my head was no different. Reading back through things, I remember a lot of stuff a lot better than it actually was. Take my relationship with Matt for instance. I always think that we just kind of drifted apart. In actuality, I was a bitch... and then we drifted apart. I was so miserable with life when I was with him that I ended up taking a lot of things out on him and for some crazy reason he stayed with me. I'm not going to say we didn't drift apart, because we did. But maybe our breakup(s) didn't have to be so bad. Maybe if I hadn't been such an awful person, we'd still be friends now. But it is what it is.

Also interesting is to read back through all of my entires about Domino's. I miss that crew. We had such a good time together.

I also miss Tara and Tracy like crazy. Those two were my absolute best friends for four years and I barely talk to them anymore. I mean, with Tracy it's somewhat understandable. She lives in Alaska and we had a pretty big falling out a couple years ago that we haven't quite recovered from. But Tara lives in Alexandria. No excuses there. Thank god Sara and I are still so close. Otherwise I'd consider myself a huge failure. And I know time changes and people change... but seriously.

So as a result of all the dug up memories, I had the strangest dream last night. I was back with Matt and he joined the military... and we moved to.... Alaska. LOL. Tracy was there and she couldn't understand why I hated Alaska so much. Our neighborhood (because naturally we were neighbors) was 50 miles from civilization of any type and we had to hunt for our food. It was the strangest thing.

But anyways, I think I've procrastinated from my paper for long enough.



I love this song. It's my new favorite.

totally forgot! I was going to post a link to the livejournal so you guys can take a look into my head from seven years ago. Enjoy =)

http://lilpizzagurl.livejournal.com/